standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like “look at this fucking flower. this flower is taller than i am. this flower is winning and i’m losing”
Wow you are not ready to hear about trees.
i dont think i ever told people about the egg decorating competitions my secondary school started doing at easter
this was my favourite entry of all time and it didnt win and im still outraged
can i have a fork
do you have a metal one
i planned this for days guys why wont you love me
Why is it when I see a white girl with a tattoo on her thigh i think sexy? But a Latina I think ghettos as fuck?
because youre racist
what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?
one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job
people say lmao a lot nowadays but no one says rofl anymore and its weird cause back in the day rofl and lmao used to be interchangeable and if you were a risktaker youd combine them into roflmao but now everyones dropped rofl. its probably for the best but i cant help but be nostalgic.